YOUR MARITAL HEALTH/THE MOST OFTEN ASKED QUESTION: ISN’T THERE SOMETHING I CAN DO TO HOLD BACK?

MAY 18TH, 2009
By ADMIN

”I can’t hold back. No matter what, I come. Isn’t there something I can do to hold back until she finishes at least?”

ANSWER: Concepts such as “hold back,” “finish,” and “coming” are leftovers from old ideas about sex that emphasized the mechanical, reflex parts of sexual response. If you mean by “coming” ejaculating, then there is much you can do to ejaculate when you want to. Making sure your bladder is empty before sexual activity will help, and learning to thrust with your whole pelvis instead of squeezing the muscles of the buttocks together and tensing the area between your legs is another idea. Most important, however, are two rules of super marital sex. First, since ejaculation is the body’s reflex to arousal, your whole life-style affects that body response. If you live fast and pressured, you are setting the stage for all body processes to accelerate. Slowing down in living is as important as slowing down in loving. Second, a posture in which your most sensitive area of the penis, the F area, is contacting your partner’s most sensitive area, the Ñ area, is less likely to throw off the timing of this reflex. The posture of the future will help in this regard. And don’t forget, orgasm and psychasm are different. Focusing on coming or not coming only leads to more focus and less c. since psychasm is emotional and mental, it is impossible to think or feel too soon.